With the busy lives that we lead, it can be easy to get caught up in what’s going on in the world and what everyone else is up to. But, amongst all of that, it’s important to make time for yourself.
Prioritizing your needs, desires, and wants and being aware of these can help you regain a sense of connection with your inner self. Having this personal relationship can be extremely beneficial as a guide for your future - and besides this, it’ll help with your overall health and self-awareness too.
Let’s get started by exploring some of the best ways you can connect with yourself daily, all of which can be incorporated into your daily, weekly, or monthly schedule to enhance mindfulness and well-being.
Why do we feel disconnected from ourselves?
Feelings of disconnection and isolation are often linked to experiencing chronic stress. When our body goes into “fight or flight” mode, it begins to limit its actions to only those that are fundamental to its survival.
In this modern age, those feelings of stress aren’t unusual. 55% of Americans are reported to be stressed during the day, according to The American Insitute of Stress. And Americans are one of the most stressed out in the world.
The impact this has on our body and mind can lead to disconnection both as a more intentional subconscious decision to avoid or reduce draining social interactions and occasions (causing disconnect from other people) and as an unintentional consequence of slipping into a more functional and basic day-to-day existence (causing disconnect from yourself).
There are some noticeable symptoms and obvious warning signs that your body is entering chronic stress and disconnection. These can manifest themselves as any of the following:
- Feeling numb or indifferent to events around you
- Lacking a sense of purpose or direction
- Feeling removed or distant from the people around you
- Decreased intimacy in relationships (platonic as well as romantic/sexual)
Just like doctors advise us to regularly check our body for ‘lumps,’ it's important to check-in regularly with yourself mentally. Disconnection is just one potential thing to look out for, both internally and in loved ones.
It’s important to identify and begin navigating any feelings of disconnection as early as possible, as they could also be indicators of more serious mental health conditions, including (but not limited to) depersonalization or derealisation, anxiety, and depression.
These conditions can be explained as follows:
- Depersonalization is a mental state of feeling detached from your own body, observing your own thoughts and actions from a distance.
- Derealisation refers to feeling detached from your immediate surroundings and the wider world, with things and people seeming unreal.
- Anxiety is a feeling of worry or uneasiness in/about various situations and affects you for an extended period of time.
- Depression is a low mood that lasts for an extended period, from weeks to months/years, and affects your daily life.
If you are concerned that you are experiencing any of the mental health conditions listed above, please consult professional medical advice and support as soon as possible.
How do you connect with yourself?
If you’re looking for ways you can connect with yourself daily, you should start by looking inwardly to increase self-awareness. Identify your needs, eliminate negativity, and trust your body’s energy.
Once you understand what makes you tick, implement time and care into fulfilling these. Physical movement and meditation is a great way to connect on a deeper level.
Just as you’d check in with a loved one - arranging regular catch-ups over coffee or cake - you should do this with yourself too. It’s important to make the time to connect.
10 Strategies For Reconnecting With Yourself
Remember that it can take time to feel like you’ve successfully mastered the art of connection. It’s not a linear process. Start by figuring out which of the below is the right one for you as we look into the 10 ways you can connect with yourself daily.
1. Pay Attention To Your Emotions
The initial part of regaining inner connection is to check in with yourself.
Take time to notice emotions and feelings, either as they come about or as a moment of reflection perhaps at the end of one day or start of the next.
Feelings to acknowledge can be fleeting or more stubborn, but perhaps the most interesting ones that surprise you or catch you off guard without a simple explanation. Consider yourself a newly-recruited detective, on the hunt for complex emotions to unpack and dissect.
2. Follow Your Energy
Similar to acknowledging and understanding emotions, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of your body’s energy.
When we say “energy”, this is less about vitality and having a spring in your step and more about the vibe you give off both inwardly and outwardly.
Emotions and energies aren’t as binary as we think, i.e. positive vs. negative. There’s a skill in spotting sensations of positive energy when you feel like crying or feeling inwardly introverted while outwardly commanding a lot of attention. What does this conflict mean inside you?
The next step in this strategy is to recognize where those feelings and emotions sit in the bigger picture of your day/week/month and what they say about your subconscious thoughts and feelings…
3. Identify Your Needs
The more you can practice acknowledging different feelings and what they mean for you, the better you will be able to approach new situations. Even better still, the better you will be able to interact with and communicate your needs to others.
Try and put your needs into words - whether left as thoughts, written down in a journal, or shared with a loved one over a much-needed cup of coffee. This can help you to reclaim control of feelings and needs, helping to continue your journey in personal growth.
4. Allow Negative Thoughts To Pass
This next step isn’t easy, but it is important: you have to look at internal negative thoughts and then show them the exit door from your mind.
With 80% of our thoughts being negative, you must learn how to manage them healthily:
- Identify the negative thought/s.
- Spend (a small amount of) time unraveling it to gather any helpful information from your subconscious mind.
- Remove the thought from your mind (easier said than done!) or, at the least, make peace with it.
- Consider useful insight gained from the thought.
- Plan any possible next steps to help bring any necessary clarity/self-learning.
5. Meditate
In its simplest form, meditation is all about controlling your breathing and focusing on one thing at a time. This is a great opportunity to practice mindfulness and steady your thinking.
Some common approaches you might take when meditating include…
Tune into each part of your body separately and notice the smaller details that you usually take for granted…the softness of your palms, the feeling of your feet against the floor, and the weight of your head and neck on your shoulders.
Don’t be afraid to incorporate some slow and controlled movements into your breathing, like slow head nods or rolling your ankles round.
Reflect on your life to date. Think back to pivotal moments in your life and how they have led you to the here and now. Hug your inner child, ask them questions, and listen to their hopes and dreams. As corny as it sounds, sometimes we have to look backward before we can move forward.
6. Move Your Body
The next step up from meditation is full body movement. This doesn’t have to be a 5-mile run, the newest spin class, or an intense HIIT workout. Even increasing your daily step count and opting for small changes like taking the stairs over the elevator is good for you.
Physical activity increases blood circulation and causes the body to produce endorphins (i.e. chemicals in the body that make you feel happy). Moderate and low-intensity exercise is scientifically proven to help with low mood, anxiety, and depression.
This strategy also allows you to undertake a physical check-in of your body, testing out all your joints, exploring your full range of motion, and stretching out muscles. Yoga offers a great opportunity to do this while getting you up and moving.
All of this movement allows you to regain a sense of connection with your body, how it functions, and what it provides for you on a daily basis.
7. Red Light Therapy
Next up is red light therapy. This utilizes the power of specialist light technology to stimulate cell activity and renewal.
This technology is used for a variety of reasons, from helping to heal sports injuries to providing relief for chronic pain and being incorporated into treatment plans post-surgery.
Sometimes, when we feel strong emotional pain, this can manifest itself as physical pain, either through somatic symptoms or more generally in slower recovery times after injury.
Red light therapy not only scientifically supports the healing process of physical pain, but the act of undergoing red light therapy sessions (especially with an at-home device) helps patients to focus on the target area and to take time out to focus on it daily throughout the recovery journey.
While the other strategies in this list help with regaining connection with your body as a whole, red light therapy enables you to build connections with specific areas of the body most in need of attention.
8. Make time for what you love most
It’s easy to get caught up in daily life, but dedicating time to what brings you joy should always be a priority. It doesn’t have to be a major activity every day, but carving some time out to dedicate to yourself can bring a huge sense of fulfillment.
Whether it’s the chance to read a few pages of a best-selling novel, or going for a walk in the local park, spend some time focusing on what you enjoy.
9. Create a sacred space
There’s nothing better than retreating to a space that feels like home after a long day running errands or at work.
It could be an area in your room or garden that you feel most calm in, or perhaps somewhere you naturally gravitate to already.
Once you have the spot, clear away any clutter and set an intention to use that space whenever you need to meditate or reflect. Bringing in some home comforts will keep you coming back time and time again.
10. Learn how to enjoy your own company
The infamous FOMO (fear of missing out) is a universal feeling, but becoming comfortable being by yourself can do wonders for your well-being.
Spending time alone lets you reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and actions without distractions. It can feel overwhelming to begin with, but this can bring a new level of self-awareness which can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of yourself.
And once you’ve cracked the feeling of enjoying your own space, this will foster a new sense of independence. Becoming less reliant on others can result in raised confidence and self-esteem.
How often should I complete these strategies?
Ideally, you should aim to undertake these activities every day. However, it’s never realistic to commit to doing something every day straight away if it’s never previously been part of your routine.
Instead, it’s more realistic to start slow and build upwards, i.e. beginning with weekly check-ins, then alternate days, then every day.
You also shouldn’t beat yourself up if you don’t stick to this. Just like dieting, every day is a new day and a new opportunity to get back on track if you fall off!
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